I Think I Know You
I find that in the last few months as I have begun work at a new church setting that there have been moments where I have found myself thinking, "I know you." The issue at hand is, I don't.
At least, I don't know the congregation well enough to feel like I know them as I have parishes that I have served for several years. So what's the deal?
It seems to me that, for whatever reason, this church congregation has me thinking of past parishioners. More to the point, they have me thinking of attributes and behaviors of past parishioners. For example, as I was talking with one particular person a few weeks ago, I found that I kept thinking about a parishioner from a church I served 4 years ago. In reflecting on why that past parishioner kept coming to mind, I realized that they share many of the same inflections of voice, the same demeanor, and attitudes.
What is surprising to me is just how often this seems to be happening here. It is as if the experiences I have had in other congregations are congealing into this particular parish. I have served in churches long enough to have those kinds of comparisons happen from time to time, but I have to admit that this seems a bit overwhelming to me - almost as if I have served here for a lot longer than I actually have.
Granted, the people aren't exactly the same, but close enough for me to feel as if I have some insight in how to approach them in a variety of contexts effectively.
But it is odd.
I wonder, too, if this is why we find ourselves drawn to particular people so quickly (and turned off by others) when we don't have any concrete reason behind those emotions. I mean, we do tend to gravitate towards people who exude particular attributes. Conversely, we also seem to be drawn to the same kind of people that make our lives miserable. I know of plenty of people who end one bad relationship only to seek out the same thing from someone else.
As a pastor, though, I have to keep in mind that while these people seem very much like people I have already met, they aren't. As such, I have to work not to simply categorize them or stereotype them, but to recognize that they are individuals who, while similar, are their own unique makeup. I might find that they are exceedingly similar, but in the end, I have to treat them for who they are, not who I think they seem like.
At least, I don't know the congregation well enough to feel like I know them as I have parishes that I have served for several years. So what's the deal?
It seems to me that, for whatever reason, this church congregation has me thinking of past parishioners. More to the point, they have me thinking of attributes and behaviors of past parishioners. For example, as I was talking with one particular person a few weeks ago, I found that I kept thinking about a parishioner from a church I served 4 years ago. In reflecting on why that past parishioner kept coming to mind, I realized that they share many of the same inflections of voice, the same demeanor, and attitudes.
What is surprising to me is just how often this seems to be happening here. It is as if the experiences I have had in other congregations are congealing into this particular parish. I have served in churches long enough to have those kinds of comparisons happen from time to time, but I have to admit that this seems a bit overwhelming to me - almost as if I have served here for a lot longer than I actually have.
Granted, the people aren't exactly the same, but close enough for me to feel as if I have some insight in how to approach them in a variety of contexts effectively.
But it is odd.
I wonder, too, if this is why we find ourselves drawn to particular people so quickly (and turned off by others) when we don't have any concrete reason behind those emotions. I mean, we do tend to gravitate towards people who exude particular attributes. Conversely, we also seem to be drawn to the same kind of people that make our lives miserable. I know of plenty of people who end one bad relationship only to seek out the same thing from someone else.
As a pastor, though, I have to keep in mind that while these people seem very much like people I have already met, they aren't. As such, I have to work not to simply categorize them or stereotype them, but to recognize that they are individuals who, while similar, are their own unique makeup. I might find that they are exceedingly similar, but in the end, I have to treat them for who they are, not who I think they seem like.
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