Being Honest
I had lunch today with an old friend of mine with whom I had a great conversation about theology, biblical 'truths' and the interpretation of the Christian faith. It was a great conversation because honest questions were asked and (hopefully) honest answers were given.
The difficulty most people would have had with our conversation would likely stem from two points. First, they are questions that come from some levels of doubt. Perhaps not so much from doubt, but from a genuine desire to understand in relation to questions that are not clearly dealt with in the Bible. The second difficulty might come from the fact that I am a pastor.
Let me address the second one first.
As a pastor, I find that there are loads and loads of assumptions made about what I do and don't believe (Being United Methodist, one need only read the Book of Discipline to see the doctrinal standards our denomination holds). Also, there is the expectation that I have access to answers that I actually do not. True I am Christian and an elder in the United Methodist Church, but I still have questions and I still am seeking to grow in my understating of scripture and its relevance to life.
That leads back to the first point about questions arising from doubt.
Do I have doubts? That is too vague a question. Sure I have doubts. I have doubts about a great many things. Specifically about the Bible? Well, if by doubting the Bible you mean do I doubt its truth, then no. The problem is that I doubt some people's rendering of the truth in the Bible. I certainly have come to think that the Bible is hardly as clear and plain and simple as some would like to believe.
Herein lies the problem. As a pastor, I find that the relationship between myself and the congregation is a sometimes a strange and strained one. I am asked to be the spiritual guide and/or leader for the congregation. And yet I also find that I am only accepted in that role so long as I reinforce what they already think, believe, or hold to be true. So I am the pastoral leader so long as I lead where people have already been.
Yet that kind of superficiality is hardly what drew me into the study of the Bible or of my own personal faith journey. For me a particular series of spiritual experiences lead me into a stronger and deeper desire to know more about the Bible, not less. I wanted to learn about this book we call holy. And once I started learning, I found I couldn't stop.
However, for many, learning stops as soon as they join a church or become a pastor. It's sometimes too hard to keep going when the pressure is on to stay where you are. Mostly because there is the feeling that the congregation is in a fixed location and does not want to go anywhere else; thereby excluding those who would wish to move.
That's why people don't ask questions at Bible studies. They don't want to look like they don't know what they think everyone else knows. And they don't want to look like they know more than other people and find themselves thought of as a know-it-all. The questions imply uncertainty or a desire for clarification (which comes from not being completely certain), and that just doesn't seem to be tolerated by most believers.
And yet when I was in school, I found my faith and my quest for discovery to be far more alive than it ever was or has been in a church setting. Why? Because in the church people only want what they already have. To preach differently or to think differently in the pews is to risk being set aside, set apart, or kicked out. In the United Methodist Church you might not get moved for this (like you almost certainly would in a Baptist Church - go against a Baptist congregation and see what happens), but the congregation is likely going to struggle to know what to do with you.
Perhaps this is why the church is dying. People do not feel empowered to grow in their faith because they aren't allowed to ask questions. Coupled with pastors who do not feel supported in bringing questions and explorations of faith to their sermons and you have a congregation that is hermetically sealing itself into its own mausoleum - a building that used to be the sanctuary for dynamic faith.
The difficulty most people would have had with our conversation would likely stem from two points. First, they are questions that come from some levels of doubt. Perhaps not so much from doubt, but from a genuine desire to understand in relation to questions that are not clearly dealt with in the Bible. The second difficulty might come from the fact that I am a pastor.
Let me address the second one first.
As a pastor, I find that there are loads and loads of assumptions made about what I do and don't believe (Being United Methodist, one need only read the Book of Discipline to see the doctrinal standards our denomination holds). Also, there is the expectation that I have access to answers that I actually do not. True I am Christian and an elder in the United Methodist Church, but I still have questions and I still am seeking to grow in my understating of scripture and its relevance to life.
That leads back to the first point about questions arising from doubt.
Do I have doubts? That is too vague a question. Sure I have doubts. I have doubts about a great many things. Specifically about the Bible? Well, if by doubting the Bible you mean do I doubt its truth, then no. The problem is that I doubt some people's rendering of the truth in the Bible. I certainly have come to think that the Bible is hardly as clear and plain and simple as some would like to believe.
Herein lies the problem. As a pastor, I find that the relationship between myself and the congregation is a sometimes a strange and strained one. I am asked to be the spiritual guide and/or leader for the congregation. And yet I also find that I am only accepted in that role so long as I reinforce what they already think, believe, or hold to be true. So I am the pastoral leader so long as I lead where people have already been.
Yet that kind of superficiality is hardly what drew me into the study of the Bible or of my own personal faith journey. For me a particular series of spiritual experiences lead me into a stronger and deeper desire to know more about the Bible, not less. I wanted to learn about this book we call holy. And once I started learning, I found I couldn't stop.
However, for many, learning stops as soon as they join a church or become a pastor. It's sometimes too hard to keep going when the pressure is on to stay where you are. Mostly because there is the feeling that the congregation is in a fixed location and does not want to go anywhere else; thereby excluding those who would wish to move.
That's why people don't ask questions at Bible studies. They don't want to look like they don't know what they think everyone else knows. And they don't want to look like they know more than other people and find themselves thought of as a know-it-all. The questions imply uncertainty or a desire for clarification (which comes from not being completely certain), and that just doesn't seem to be tolerated by most believers.
And yet when I was in school, I found my faith and my quest for discovery to be far more alive than it ever was or has been in a church setting. Why? Because in the church people only want what they already have. To preach differently or to think differently in the pews is to risk being set aside, set apart, or kicked out. In the United Methodist Church you might not get moved for this (like you almost certainly would in a Baptist Church - go against a Baptist congregation and see what happens), but the congregation is likely going to struggle to know what to do with you.
Perhaps this is why the church is dying. People do not feel empowered to grow in their faith because they aren't allowed to ask questions. Coupled with pastors who do not feel supported in bringing questions and explorations of faith to their sermons and you have a congregation that is hermetically sealing itself into its own mausoleum - a building that used to be the sanctuary for dynamic faith.
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