I Can't Say for Sure
I have touched on this idea before, I am sure, but I find that the more I serve as a pastor the less I can speak my personal thoughts.
Some may argue that a pastor should have no personal thoughts because their thoughts should always be on their congregation (or flock). Therefore everything is done for and on their behalf. I have heard some pastors lecture on just that idea - one in particular who stated that we (pastors) have no personal time and that our time should always be other people's time unless they have no need for us at that moment. By that he meant that if we were eating with our own family and someone calls needing to talk or whatever else, the meal with our own family becomes less of a priority because the congregational need must always come first.
While I understand the argument I find that I am not so persuaded.
It is in regards to preaching and teaching, though, that I find I have to be very, very guarded as to what I say. I have to be not only guarded but very careful in bringing new (to them) ideas or observations for a number of reasons.
The first is that they don't have the background to Biblical study that many seminarians have. There are classes I took in seminary that profoundly changed how I read and hear the Scriptures. My congregants did not take these classes and therefore do not have the larger background in study seminarians have. When I go into sermon prep or study prep, I have to take into consideration the fact that some ideas that I currently hold took several semesters of wrestling and inquiry to reach. The people I have don't have that kind of time to invest, usually, and can't make the leap that it appears I have made easily.
Perhaps I shouldn't expect them to, but at the same time I am serving churches in a denomination that requires some kind of seminary education before we can stand behind the pulpit in full connection with the denomination. So why wouldn't I share what I have learned?
Because (reason two) the congregations have all developed a kind of collective theology by which they operate. Those theologies can differ greatly from church to church, and a pastor has to learn the operating theology of the church quickly to connect - and the quickest way to learn the congregational theology is to preach a sermon that the majority doesn't agree with. The catch is one never knows when that sermon will be!
The difficulty here is that the pastor seems to be required to match the congregational theology rather than espouse or offer a personally developed and reflected upon one. At least not directly or all at once. It takes months if not years to develop the relationship to offer new ideas in sermons. Not that developing a relationship is a bad idea, it just takes a long time before one can venture new ideas without fear.
And that goes back to background. My experiences and understandings have taken me years to reach. I have to be patient with the congregation, but I find I also get quite frustrated in that I find I cannot express myself or my theology clearly or directly for fear of offending the congregational theology. That offense could create such hardships between myself and a congregation (and this goes for many other pastors, too, I am sure) that it is easier to avoid than to engage.
As such, I find that I feel the pressure to be silent even when I speak. That troubles me greatly.
Some may argue that a pastor should have no personal thoughts because their thoughts should always be on their congregation (or flock). Therefore everything is done for and on their behalf. I have heard some pastors lecture on just that idea - one in particular who stated that we (pastors) have no personal time and that our time should always be other people's time unless they have no need for us at that moment. By that he meant that if we were eating with our own family and someone calls needing to talk or whatever else, the meal with our own family becomes less of a priority because the congregational need must always come first.
While I understand the argument I find that I am not so persuaded.
It is in regards to preaching and teaching, though, that I find I have to be very, very guarded as to what I say. I have to be not only guarded but very careful in bringing new (to them) ideas or observations for a number of reasons.
The first is that they don't have the background to Biblical study that many seminarians have. There are classes I took in seminary that profoundly changed how I read and hear the Scriptures. My congregants did not take these classes and therefore do not have the larger background in study seminarians have. When I go into sermon prep or study prep, I have to take into consideration the fact that some ideas that I currently hold took several semesters of wrestling and inquiry to reach. The people I have don't have that kind of time to invest, usually, and can't make the leap that it appears I have made easily.
Perhaps I shouldn't expect them to, but at the same time I am serving churches in a denomination that requires some kind of seminary education before we can stand behind the pulpit in full connection with the denomination. So why wouldn't I share what I have learned?
Because (reason two) the congregations have all developed a kind of collective theology by which they operate. Those theologies can differ greatly from church to church, and a pastor has to learn the operating theology of the church quickly to connect - and the quickest way to learn the congregational theology is to preach a sermon that the majority doesn't agree with. The catch is one never knows when that sermon will be!
The difficulty here is that the pastor seems to be required to match the congregational theology rather than espouse or offer a personally developed and reflected upon one. At least not directly or all at once. It takes months if not years to develop the relationship to offer new ideas in sermons. Not that developing a relationship is a bad idea, it just takes a long time before one can venture new ideas without fear.
And that goes back to background. My experiences and understandings have taken me years to reach. I have to be patient with the congregation, but I find I also get quite frustrated in that I find I cannot express myself or my theology clearly or directly for fear of offending the congregational theology. That offense could create such hardships between myself and a congregation (and this goes for many other pastors, too, I am sure) that it is easier to avoid than to engage.
As such, I find that I feel the pressure to be silent even when I speak. That troubles me greatly.
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